When they filmed the old Tarzan movies back in the '30s, some of the monkeys escaped into the wilds of Florida. They formed a colony that's still swinging from the cypress sweetgum and water-oak trees along the Ocklawaha River bordering the Ocala National Forest northwest of Orlando. For just under $600 you can ex≠plore the region for six days in a canoe and six nights in a tent, courtesy of Wilderness Inquiry who will pick you up at Moss Bluff (or from Orlando for an extra $30). They'll give you three squares a day and you'll paddle from Magnolia to Little Lake George to see shore birds, game fish, alligators, manatees, monkeys, but (alas) not Tarzan. All this was advertised in The Chicago Tribune last January, but I grow old...too old to go (I was 82 on Janu≠ary 26). It's not a question of should I wear my trousers? It's where ARE my trousers? Unk vando and Kaor!

          ...Philip Josť Farmer
          Peoria, Illinois