You are lost

It's the Queen of Darkness, Pal!

Uh-oh. Looks like you're Up the Bright River without a paddle. It's in times like these that we always ask ourselves: "What would Phil do?" Why, pick the Leaser of Two Evils, of course...

Go directly to Jadawin's palace. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200.

You pays yer money and you takes yer chances. It can't be worse than here.